wait and wait

Major emotional problems there is with assisted conception

You build your hope so high because you think it's gonna work coz you have some sort of a help from someone who is an expert and at the end of the cycle, You ended up crying like crazy because the result is negative and you have to go through everything again next cycle.

I have gotten treatment from 3 different doctors in 6 months - time and it's either they failed me, or I failed myself. This time around, I chose not to let myself believe that it's gonna work that easy because no matter how good the chances are, still neither me, the doctor, my husband, or my family can control. It is up to Allah swt.

I am now 6 days prior to the day my period should due and everyday is a challenge for me. I try my very best to keep my self busy and not to expect anything, but god knows deep in my heart, I am so hoping that this month is the end of all this process and in 8 months time, someone will call me mommy.

But if Allah swt choose to continue to test me, I am more than willing to wait and not give up hope.