CLICK HERE FOR FREE BLOG LAYOUTS, LINK BUTTONS AND MORE! »

Saturday, February 26, 2011

12th Day

okay... this entry has to be short due to my hectic work schedule.

26th Feb is my 12th day of menstrual cycle.
I have taken clomid from day 2 till day 6, and today I have to go see Dr Sharifah Halimah.
my body react positively to clomid and my egg has developed to  15 mm @ 1.5 mm( I am not so sure myself) but it is not big enough. It need to go to at least 18 mm before it can be released into the fallopian tube.
So, I have  to come again on Monday 28th Feb to see the development of my egg. Keeping my finger cross till then and hope to get better news.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

False Alarm !!

My last post was on 27th December 2010. This is what happened since then :

29th December 2010 : I got my period, it was heavy at first and lasted for nearly 7 days.

6th January 2011 : Cik Juriah datang mengurut dirumah. Dia ni bidan & boleh betulkan peranakkan. So, dia urut punyer urut, dia kata rahim saya tak tinggi cuma kecut sahaja...ala ala mcm pintu rahim tertutup la dan disebabkan itulah, kalu make love jer, mesti terkeluar balik sbb dia tak masuk pada tempatnyer. Jadi dia pun betulkanlah.. A few days after that, kiteorg pun test la keberkesanan Cik juriah ni, and to our suprise, mmg tak de keluar. try lagi, tak keluar jugak..try lagi dan lagi, tak keluar jugak. *sudahsudahlatrytu*

I am supposed to get my period on the 26 th of January tp  period pun.Waited for 3 days  tp tak period jugak,

29th January 2011 : Test pregnancy tetapi Negative. Saya telah mula risau kenapa period tak datang and was thinking of taking medcine yg saya selalu amik utk bg period keluar...tapi bila petang sikit, period keluar, tp sgt sgt sgt sedikit.Tak kena kat pad pun.Dlm 2 hari masih sama sangat sikit dan pink in colour. Mungkin period ni tak dpt keluar betul betul kot.

5th February 2011 : Baru balik dr kenduri brother in law di Terengganu, sakit la pinggang teramat sangat, saya pun panggil Cik Juriah balik untuk mengurut, lagipun mmg lepas period dah patut urut balik peranakkan ni. Storylah kat Cik Juriah ttg period yg sedikit itu. Dia pun kata, meh dia check dulu, kot kot ade isi. Tekan punyer tekan, dia kata kemungkinan ade pasal urat batang ape ntah, dah keras..Wah...mungkin penantian akan berkahir kot..tp dia kata tggu dua minggu lg pastu test pregnancy. Dia tak janji tapi dia kata ikutkan pengalaman dia mungkin ade. Skrg ni katanyer, saya perlu pantang jangan minum air gas, nenas, kelapa,  jgn angkat benda berat dan sebagainya.

Tapi kan manusia ni tak reti sabar, tak nak tunggu 2 minggu, nak test pregnancy jugak jugak. Esok nyer saya pun test ( - Ve) . Ermmm...mama suh tunggu lagi 2 minggu, BFF Aini Qamariah kata kalu tak leh tunggu, kamu gi jmpa doctor.

8th February 2011 : Jumpa dengan Doc Jayabalan, in the midst of telling the story, dia tanya whether I mkn ubat yg dia prescribe tak? I said no, then spontaneously he said " then I can Assure you 100 % that u are not pregnant" and at that moment I sort of forze in time. I dunno what to think or what to say or how to react. Dia kata ape pun meh kita buat test. Test la ovary and uterus smua. Dia kata tak pregnant tp ade something sort of like selaput yg tak bagi period tu keluar and if I am really pregnant, that selaput will then turn to kantung for the baby to sit it in lah...skrg ni, pregnant ke tak, itu pertanyaan yg seharusnye..but being in the state of shock that I am, I didn't ask anything, he gave me a ubat dia kata if within 10 days I still didn't get my menstrual period, than I might be pregnant. So sekarang we are soooo confuse whether or not I am pregnant coz sekejap kata 100% tak sekejap kata maybe...tp still mcm org kena pukau...kami berdua ni anguk aje.
keluar dr hospital baru lah otak cair sikit, baru pikir mcm mcm.Hubby said dia nk second opinion coz the doc looks hesitated. We ask opinion from family and friends so we make up our mind that we certainly need a second opinion as the first doc is not that convincing.

9th February 2011 : I called Ar Ridzuan Medical Center because we want to get an opinion from a malay doc plak. Tapi Doc ade 2 org, sorg hari ni tak de kat sana sbb dia ade kat klinik dia sendiri, sorg lagi full plak. So I called KPJ Ipoh Specialist plak, Dr Adlan, the one doc I have heard of, full jugak hari ni. Pegi ke klinik Foo at Ipoh Garden ( we figure if we cannot find a malay doc, then we will go to any chinese doc). Dr Foo pulak tak de kat klinik. Ptg nnt baru ade. At that moment , I was thinking that maybe Allah didn't want us to see any doc. We were about to gave up when I called KPJ again and ask for other malay  gynecology and they passed me to Klinik Dr Sharifah Halimah. Doc Sharifah plak mmg free so they ask me to come right away.

Cerita lah kat Dr Sharifah ni pasal smua smua ni lah...dia kata I have PCOS..which  Dr Jayabalan had mention before. Meaning I might not ovulate or even if I ovulated, the egg might not be mature enough to get ferterlised. As usual Dr Sharifah pun kata I have to loose some weight in order for the hormone to be balance. But at the same time I have to take clomid because dia kata saya takkan boleh pregnant secara sendirinye sbb saya ade problem..saya perlu dibantu dan dimonitor. Dr check ovary and uterus and I am Officially NOT PREGANANT ...my period cuma tak keluar because lack of hormone and maybe I am not ovulating.

She said I am now in her 6 Month pregnancy programme. Dia bagi Norcolut utk bg period keluar and then after period dah keluar dia bg Clomid makan 2 tablet 1 hari from day 2 to day 6 of period nnt dan saya kena jumpa dia balik on day 12.

Before I enter the Doctors room I pray hard to Allah " Seandainya aku mengandung, Alhamdulillah. Seandainya tidak, aku memohon agar aku kuat dan tabah menerima dugaan ini" and alhamdulillah, no matter how high I hope for it to be true, no matter how I froze when Doctors tell me that I am not pregnant, I didn't shed a tear.

Monday, December 27, 2010

27 December

1 hour ago, I was at the Doctor's Clinic. Appointment at 10 am.

I gained 0.5 kg instead of losing around 3 - 4 kilos for the last 2 cycle. Doc pun terkejut...Saya tak terkejut sbb mmg dah agk pun berat bertambah sbb saya makan je ape yg saya nk.

Doc explain the result of my blood test...as expected, hormon lelaki lebi banyak dr perempuan. Doc kata if hormon tak stabil selagi tu, bagi ubat ape pun, mcm tak guna. It's like giving clomid to a man!! it wont work. According to the result of the blood test , my Egg was release even before it matures, jadi, mmg mcm mana skalipun, ia takkan dapat disenyawakan.

The best way now is to make my hormone stable again. disebabkan saya skip makan ubat dan saya tak diet properly, saya kena makan lagi ubat ni untuk 1 lagi cycle.*padan muka*

oh lupa plak nk cakap, hari tu, a few day after menstrual period ends, saya pegi mengurut dekat sorang makcik ni, dia cakap, kdg2 org susah mengandung pasal kedudukan rahim yg tidak betul menyebabkan, sperms tidak dapat masuk dlm rahim. Menurut makcik ni, kalau kita make love, and air mani suami kite keluar dr vagina kita, memang takkan dapat anak.Kalau tak keluar langsung tu, harapan menjadi tu tinggi...

makcik tu bagi air penawar, dua dua kena minum, pastu bagi sireh dan pinang yag masih belum jatuh ke tanah, suruh kunyah dan air sireh tu sapu kat perut dan mengurut biasa lah..

Ape ape pun kite cube, cara mana yg berjaya, itu tak kesah. Harap harap hidup kita tak berdua lagi, kalau la takdir hidup kita berdua aje, MAKE MOST OUT OF IT ...Love You B

Saturday, November 27, 2010

makin montel

I have been FAT my whole life, and I am okay with it!! I dont care what ppl think, I have difficulty finding clothes,but it doesn't bother me that much. I love food, esp those that contains Milk, Choclates, Cream dan semua yang seangkatan dgnnyer. Mane mane saya pegi pun, Doc bertauliah atau bukan, akan kata, part of the reason I am unable to conceive is because I am FAT.

My whole life, FATNESS never bother me, but this time, I am a bit worried. Doc Gave me Metformin to help me loose weight, but instead, I gain weight!! I am going to have to see doc again on DEC 27. Ape saya nk jawab kalau doc tanya kenapa saya tak kurus kurus! Doc kata, kalau Lemak yang cover ovari saya tak nipis, doc will have to DRILL the ovari. Sakit ke?? Sape pernah buat?

Doc ade bagi ubat DIANE 35. It is said to help me balnce my hormone. Recently, I discovered that it is a Birth control pill....terkanjatnyer masa tu!! buat ape nyer makan ubat perancang keluarga??? Rupa rupanye, ubat ni mmg pil perancang ttp dia ade dual role ; one is of course, birth control pill, the other one is for acne skin. It actually helps to regulate the hormone endrogen. Extra endrogen akan menyebabkan sesorang itu ade masaalah acne, oily skin and hair loss. So, preactically ubat ni adelah utk stabilkan hormon dlm pada masa yg sama sbgai birth control pill. So, whether I like it or not, I have to take it until the hormone is stable. If u girls are interested, u can google DIANE 35.

The fact that I am now taking Birth control pill doesn't bother me much, the side effects however is killing me. Side effects includes : Nausea (sgt la pening), abdominal pain ( x rasa sgt, tp sometimes u feel like there's something uncomfortable about ur tummy),bloating(YES sgt sgt)vomitting ( x ade la lagi),dizziness (terlalu mudah pening n rasa sgt moody) breast pain @ tenderness(sgt sakit.kalau org tersiku, kite rasa mcm nk siku kepala dia balik).Bila la saya akan stop makan ubat ni? Doc kata 2 bulan !! sgt merunsingkan!

Hari ini saya tak makan malam, susah nk jumpa hari hari yg saya tak makan malam. I have to loose weight because want to get pregnant, or even if saya kurus, ttp saya masih tak pregnant, saya boleh eliminate the gemuk factor yg selama ni menjadi salah satu punca utama saya tak pregnant. Persoalannya, boleh ke?

s a y a c u b a
janji yang sama setiap kali......

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I think it's BULLSHIT

Orang tua tua banyak bercerita tentang pantang larang dan faktor faktor yang membuatkan seseorang itu susah dapat anak...tapi ade 1 cerita ni, yg saya baru dengar, kononnyer kalau kite bela kucing, atau duduk serumah dgn kucing, kita susah nak beranak sbb bulu kucing & pe'el kucing. Hah?? peliknyer.

Saya tak pasti betul ke benda ni, tp sorry to say to "those who believe it is so to be true", that I personally think that it's BULLSHIT!! Bagaimana, 1 makluk ciptaan tuhan, di sayangi Nabi Muhammad SAW, boleh dijadikan sebab musabab seseorang itu tak boleh mengandung?. Berjuta je org dalam dunia ni yang ade kucing, dekat dengan kucing, boleh je dapat anak.

Saya sayang kucing saya, waktu saya sedih, waktu saya bosan, dia lah yang menjadi penghibur saya. Kalau la benar kerana kucing  saya tak ade anak. So be it !!!

                                                    This is my baby and will always be

Sunday, November 14, 2010

now WE wait

13 November 2010
Second day of menstrual period

this entry would not be long. I am tired but still I have to write

jumpa Doc sekali lagi, Doc amik sample darah to determine which hormone yg saya tak cukup.
For a time being, Doc ckp, saya kena betulkan hormone dulu sblm saya ke stage seterusnya.Doc cakap bila hormone dh stable, the chances of conceiving would be better.

I was given Diane 35, a hormone pil to be taken 3 weeks, gap for 1 week, continue again for 3 weeks together with the previous medcine to help reduce weight.

This time it cost RM 120 for Blood test and 86.30 for medcine.

I'll be seeing Doc again on December 27th. As for now, I need to take the medcine prescribed and hope for the best.

Monday, November 8, 2010

time is the essence, don't waste any

I am 23 days late.It's normal.I can go up to six months without period and 23 days not gonna scare me.

I, however, make a move today with no planning whatsoever. I called the hospital at 11.15am and make an appointment at 12 noon with Doctor Jaya Balan in Pantai Hospital, Ipoh.

While waiting for consultation, I met a couple who has been married for 5 years and had been trying almost everything including IUI twice. They had been travelling back and forth from KL to Ipoh just to see Doc Jaya Balan for almost a year now and the next possible step would be IVF that will cost around RM 20,000.00 with 90 % chances of conceiving. I can't imagine what my life would be if I have to wait that long, but she's one tough lady, and i might have to wait that long, or maybe longer: god knows.

After waited for almost 45 minutes, we finally meet the Doc. Told him about the previous 3 cycle that we tried with Dr Ng (Ipoh Fertility Clinic).

The Doc Dignosed :

1. Clomifeme (tablet I have been taking for the past 3 cycle) to help induce ovulation is a good medcine, however, it has a many side effects including,  making our uterus wall lining thinner: thus, even if the egg gets fertilized by sperm, the chances of the implantation of the embryo is low because of the thin lining of the uterus wall ( it need to be thick for the embryo to be embeded)

2. He also said, since clomifeme does not work very well, as for the next cycle, he's gonna prescribe a new kind of medcine that works similar to clomifeme, but better. OR . I can directly try IUI ( where sperm is injected directly inside the uterus)

3. After a thorough scan using the vaginal probe ( for those who feel uncomfortable @ shy , please see female Doctor), I found out that my uterus lining is very thick; meaning that I am going to get my period anytime soon and  there's a few immature eggs inside both ovaries and also a layer of "unwanted" thick fat around the ovaries making it hard for mature egg(s) to get out to the fallopian tube.

4. and I have very bad hormonal imbalance. Estrogen level is higher than Progesteron level (or either way, can't remember)

5. Doc said, as for this month, first I need to take Glucophage for 15 days to help reduce the fat circling my ovaries, reduce my appetite and help me loose weight.

6. If anytime soon, if I got my period, I should see the Doctor on my second day of period to monitor my hormone levels and figure out what should we do next.

It cost RM 40 for consultation and RM 33 for medcine. Suprisingly cheap for a private hospital. First impression of Doctor Jaya Balan : he has a gentle fatherly figure, sure does had lots of informations than the previous doctor and I have good faith in him.


The original plan was to start seeing any doctor next year;
but we figure, why waste time, we're gonna go anyway, might as well be NOW.